Rachel Cylus, Übersetzer

    "Rachel, can be your translator!"

    I had just walked into the office at my Language Institute here in Bonn, when I heard my name.  I looked up to see one of the employees in the office talking to some of the fellows in another program from the Alexander von Humboldt Foundation.  You see, the thirty fellows in my program, us BUKAs, are all from China, Russia and the USA.  But, there is also a new fellowship program called the Klima Fellowship.  This Fellowship, which is in its first year, brings 15 young professionals from so called "developing countries" (I actually have no idea if that is the PC term anymore, but the fellows themselves told me they came from the third world, and I KNOW that is not PC anymore, so this term will have to do) to Germany for a year to do work related to the environment and climate control.  They spend the summer with us in Bonn learning German.  It seemed that at that very moment a group of Klima Fellows had just received the dates for their appointments to apply for and receive their Visas to stay in Germany for the year.

    All of us fellows, no matter our country of origin (since none of us are from the European Union) have to apply for Visas to stay in Germany for the year and "work".  The fellows from most countries, (we Americans are an exception) had to get temporary visas before arriving in Germany.  They cannot visit other EU countries until they have their German visa, so as you can imagine, most people want to get their visas ASAP. Americans, however, can visit any part of the EU for up to 90 days with just a passport.  But, once arriving in Germany, we all have to get our visas eventually.  It is a pretty straight forward process.  You have to have some papers and documents in order, a photo of yourself (um, always in Germany), your passport, and then you sign something and you are good to go.

    That is, unless you happen to be a citizen of one of the following countries:
Afghanistan
Bangladesh
Belarus
Congo (DR)
Egypt
Indonesia
Iran
Iraq
Jordan
Kazakhstan
Lebanon
Libya
Mauritania
Nigeria
North Korea
Pakistan
Rwanda
Saudi Arabia
Somalia
Sudan
Syria
Vietnam
Yemen
Palestine
Refugees and Stateless people

      The axis of ambivalence, if you will.  If you happen to carry a passport from one of these countries, or if you are stateless, you will need a special interview and you must bring a translator, regardless of your language skills, before you are granted a visa to Germany.  It seemed that I had just been volunteered to be the übersetzer for an Egyptian Klima fellow.
       Obviously I was a little concerned.  I have a hard enough time getting myself around in German.  People misunderstand me when I try to order a sandwich.  How exactly was I supposed to help Hamada, my new Egyptian friend, get his visa?  I was probably going to get him deported by accident.
        Thursday I went with Hamada and two other Klima fellows to the visa office.  As it turns out, the woman who works at the office speaks perfect English, as does Hamada.  All of the forms are available in English.  The interview forms are available in English.  So, you may be wondering, what exactly was my roll as übersetzer...?  Well, when Hamada checked yes or no on his English form, I checked ja or nein on the same exact form in German.  Waste of everyone´s time, if you ask me.  The interview process went like this: Have you ever held political, religious or ideological ideas that are in conflict with Germany?  Answer: No.  Look at this list of known terrorist: Have you ever attended meetings or training sessions with any of these individuals: Um, nope.  Look at this list of countries: Have you ever visited any of these countries?  Answer: I do not need to look at the list. 

     Obviously this sort of stopped the woman interviewing Hamada in her tracks.  She inquired as to why he thought he shouldn´t have to look at the list, the look of a happy terrorist hunter glowing in her eyes.  As it turns out, Hamada has never left Egypt before.  Well, welcome to the rest of the world Hamada, where your nation of origin automatically makes you a suspicious figure!!

     In the end it all worked out. Hamada got his visa, I can add translator to my resume, and my brother got deported from England.

     What?  So originally this blog was going to be a rant about how unfair it is that western countries, like Germany, stereotype about other countries, like Egypt.  And that we should all have to answer those same stupid questions, because I as an American am just as likely to have fraternized with terrorists as Hamada, ok more likely, because I have actually left my home country before.

      But then again, my brother actually did get deported from England in the same week that I helped Hamada stay in Germany, so what do you make of that?  It turns out that an American traveling with a one way ticket to England to work for the United Nations can be put on a plane and sent back to the USA.  So much for the Special Relationship, Winston Churchill´s famous phrase to describe the closeness, politically, culturally, diplomatically, and historically, between our two countries.

     It may have taken one American girl with bad German to help one Egyptian get a visa to stay in Germany, but it took the entire United Nations to help one American get to England.